Perspectives

This post was inspired by Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman. After being kicked out of her widow support group for being too young, Becky creates her own support group with an unusual twist. Join From Left to Write on February 14 as we discuss Saturday Night Widows. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

This month, my online book club read the memoir, Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman, about a group of widows meeting once a month to meet, talk, and just be there for one another. Becky led the group (she was kicked out of her first grief group!) and planned outings for the group to help stretch themselves in their healing process. After all, as they said in the book, the worst thing that can happen, already happened. I found it very interesting and very heartbreaking to read the widows' stories and the pain they felt.  I really truly felt for them.
The widows' were all in different stages of their lives-newlyweds, young parents, parents of college aged children, no children-but I really found myself drawn to Dawn. She was a young mom with two small children. As I read, I kept thinking about my own mother.  My father passed away when I was four and my sister one, leaving a huge hole in my heart.  For years, I wouldn't speak about it, and I never, ever asked my mom about how she felt.  Now, I look back and think how strong she was. Yes, she must have been hurting, but I don't remember seeing her pain.  She kept going, got up everyday,  mothered my sister and me, took us on vacations, brought us to see our grandma in Los Angeles, and honestly, I don't remember her sadness or her tears. Wow, now I think back and just am so thankful that she was strong for us.  Me, I think I would fall apart in the same situation. Hide in bed with the covers over my head and mope. But with children, you cannot. You have to be strong. You can't fall apart-for them, and I think, for them alone.  I am so glad that I have had such a strong role model in my life.
My mom and I have a good relationship today-I adore how she treats her grandbabies (my babies)-but after reading this book, I have a newfound appreciation and gratefulness for her.  I still don't like to talk about my father's death, but I am going to try to talk to my mom about it and see if she'll share her heart with me.  Thank you, Mom, for being you-strong, loyal, and brave. I love you! And thank you, Becky Aikman, for helping me see my Mom in this new light.